The Reflection of the Year

There's been a huge leap in maturity this year that I've had a tough time seeing over these past months. I hated to admit it or recognize it at first but I started to see it a little over a week ago. I had a project due for one of my classes and as I sat at the computer looking at the clock that read 12:30 a.m., I knew I wasn't going to get it done that night. Instead of falling to the ground and sobbing like I would have ten months ago, I slowly got up and told myself that it was time to go to bed. And I did go to bed. Without worrying. The next day I was able to approach my teacher and ask her if she would be willing to give me an extension. She said yes and said that she completely understand as I explained to her why I was having difficulty finishing the project. Ten months ago, I could not have done that. But this showed me that I am growing up and taking responsibility for my actions.

Simple things like this would have stressed me out in the beginning of the year. Heck, my hair was falling out in chunks, I was stressed out so much. My body was becoming smaller and weaker due to the lack of energy and nutrients it was receiving. By the time I hit February, I looked disgusting. Things were going downhill fast and needed to climb my way out before it became worse. "You're not going to go to college if you don't do anything about this." My mom would reprimand me everyday and threaten to take away the one thing I held fast to: college. When march rolled around, I made a promise with myself to get healthier and not stress over the small stuff. I needed to start enjoying life again.

That's when it clicked: I don't need to be perfect for senior year. I just need to make it through. I started letting go and started doing what I wanted to do. I noticed a difference in my demeanor and my mood. I was happy again. I felt satisfied with my work and not overwhelmed anymore. People noticed this too and I had never received so many compliments. "You look great." Someone would say. "Yeah, I feel great." I can look back now on this year and be thankful for the experience I had. I know now that I am smarter than I think, and stronger than I seem.